Psychotherapist and Counsellor Focused on Helping Men's Mental Health
There are different ways of explaining the work I do as counsellor and psychotherapist - at its simplest, I will use my expertise to guide and support you to let go of pain and suffering, identity aspects about your life you seek to change, develop sustained changes and go on to have a more fulfilling life and purpose. Both online counselling and face-to-face counselling can achieve this for you.
You are unique as are your experiences. I will use my own 15 year's experience, and over two decades of recovery from addiction to deliver counselling that works for you. The main methods I use include: person-centered counselling, addiction counselling, compassionate-based inquiry, acceptance commitment therapy, psychosynthesis, mindfulness, internal family systems, and somatic methods.
I encourage everyone to make use of other sources of support, especially if you are in a crisis situation. You will find contacts for other organisations on the first part of the FAQ page.
Some reasons for psychotherapy and counselling with me
When life gets tough
There are lots of reasons why people have psychotherapy and counselling and it is great that you are looking to get help for yourself, or perhaps someone you care about.
Anxiety and depression
Everyone gets anxiety, and lots of people say they are feeling 'depressed' on a particular day. But in terms of psychotherapy and counselling, the focus is on helping people when their anxiety and depression have a continued impact on their day-to-day lives, sometimes to the extreme of wanting to die. Suicide remains one of the leading causes of preventable premature death amongst men, yet I can help take away this pain and despair. Psychotherapy and counselling is recommended by the NHS as the main approach to help anxiety and depression, along with other beneficial self-help activities like going for regular walks. In some cases, a doctor might prescribe medication to help as well. I have had long periods of depression, so as a counsellor, know how dark it can feel at times, but it is not like that anymore.
Addictions and compulsions
I am an addiction specialist. Two of the most common addictions are alcohol addiction and drug addiction (including street drugs and prescription medication). There are lots of definitions of 'addiction' and I work with people when drinking alcohol or taking drugs has started to cause problems in their lives and with themselves, whatever they might call it.
Some other behaviours can also be regarded as addictive, though the term 'compulsions' is often used to describe those involving sex, pornography, chemsex, internet use, gambling and even shopping 'addiction'. My focus is less on the terms we use, but more on how something is is impacting you, those around you and help you make changes that you would like to make.
I write about my addiction to alcohol and how I've been sober for over 25 years. As a counsellor, I really know the depths addictions can take you to, and how on my own, I simply couldn't stay away from drink. My counsellor helped me a lot, along with self-help support groups like alcoholics anonymous, which I remain connected to.
Trauma and abuse
The terms abuse and trauma can be used to describe a wide-range of different experiences, and their impact in many different ways. As a psychotherapist and counsellor, I support people to gently work through their emotions relating to these events and experiences to help reduce the impact in their lives today. This can include working with those who acted-out the abuse, and those whose lives are impacted by their actions, including sexual, physical, emotional and attachment abuse and trauma.
Sexuality
We often think of sexuality in terms of 'gay' or 'straight', heterosexual or homosexual, and bisexual, but it can be far more fluid than this, and extend beyond more traditional imposed categories. I help individuals work out the people they are attracted to at different times in their life through psychotherapy and counselling.
Just not feeling 'right'
Everyone experiences challenges in their life and these can impact their mental health at different points in time. Sometimes one can find that events from the past later come and impact our mental health, or sudden experiences start to reduce our quality of life and well-being. Sometimes we don't even know why we might be feeling sad, or unhappy, or simply feeling empty inside, and these are all things I can help with psychotherapy and counselling.
More about me
I was raised in Leeds, did my first graduate studies in Leicester and trained in Psychotherapy and Counselling at a university in London, before working for 30 years in Manchester. Like most people, my life has not been straight forward. It continues to be varied, hectic, uncertain, boring, painful, loving, happy, fun and joyful. I have been an NHS professional, and researcher and lecturer at a leading university before establishing full time as a Psychotherapist and Counsellor. My sobriety as a recovered alcoholic since 1999 continues through 12-step groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, and additional self-care is vital to manage a painful chronic physical disability, and periods of depression in the past.
Life became good but as a result of the work I put in for myself and some amazing support I got. I'm here to help you achieve the same in my role as counsellor and psychotherapist.
My core values as expressed through my work
I offer a non-judgemental professional counsellor relationship, that is genuinely caring and accepting of others, even if their choices differ to mine. I am aligned with the principles of Gender, Sex, Relationship (GSRD/ LGBTQI+ affirming) Diversity and I am a gay man in an interracial civil partnership.
